The Koala and the Lizard !

A koala was sitting in a gum tree ... smoking a joint
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry'
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
So the koala looked down at him and said,


'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude...
How much water did you drink?'

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Two Blind Pilots

Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up.


The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.


At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.


In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

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