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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Britney Spears Shaves Head To Match Her Crotch...

Britney Spears Shaves Head, Sanity Questioned After Fleeing Rehab Center

(AXcess News) Hollywood - Britney Spears has certainly been going through a lot of changes and now it's her sanity that's being questioned after the pooped pop-star singer popped in and out of a Caribbean rehabilitation facility and then promptly shaves her head claiming she's "tired of other people always touching her." Well, at least she didn't say imaginary spiders were crawling all over her, so there's hope for Britney's sanity being intact.

Britney went bald on her own accord, says a hairdresser from the beauty salon in the San Fernando Valley near Los Angeles where Britney "just went crazy and took the shaver and began shaving off her own hair, screaming hysterically about how she was tired of everyone touching her!", the hairdresser said on national TV this morning.

"Out of it" Britney Spears Shaves Head & is Bald

"Mommy, why do you look like Kojak?" That may very well may be the question little Sean Preston is asking this morning. Last night, Spears inexplicably shaved her head in front of the X17online crew .

According to the X17 sleuths:

7 pm: Britney went to a hair salon on Ventura Blvd in the San Fernando Valley. Apparently she had called someone from the salon, which was closed, to come back and open the doors just for her. Our photographers say she was crying in the car for ten minutes before she went inside -- you can even see wet tear stains on her sweatshirt. She then went inside and did the deed herself -- picking up the shears and shaving her head.

Britney Crotch Shots

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Anna Nicole Smith and James Brown - The Price Of Being Famous

Anna Nicole's Will Leaves More Questions

The 19-page will did not say how much Smith was worth, so it is still a mystery how much money those battling over her remains and her baby daughter could get. And while her body underwent embalming Saturday, the will also didn't mention where Smith wanted to be buried.

It named Smith's lawyer and boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, as her executor, stipulating that he hold her estate in trust for son Daniel Smith. But her son died last September at age 20 of apparently drug-related causes, days after the birth of the Smith's daughter, Dannielynn.

Embalming of Anna Nicole Smith's body begins

FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida (CNN) -- The body of Anna Nicole Smith was being embalmed Saturday at the Broward County Medical Examiner's office, officials said.

Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin ruled on Friday the embalming could proceed, and although the move takes the former Playboy Playmate's body one step closer to burial, the fight over where she will be buried has only begun.

Smith's attorney and longtime partner, Howard K. Stern, says Smith wanted to be buried next to her son Daniel, who died in the Bahamas last year. But the reality TV star's estranged mother, Vergie Arthur, wants her buried in her native Texas. (Watch how the will gives Howard Stern legal clout )

James Brown

James Brown has yet to be buried. Over a month after his death, legal wrangling over Brown’s estate has prevented the signing icon from receiving a proper burial. And despite considerable precedence in cases like this, (Elvis Presley wasn’t buried for 90 days because of legal issues. Ted Williams’ family feuded for months over whether to freeze or cremate Williams’ body.) The man deserves to be buried immediately.

James Brown Rape Case Back On The Docket As Victim Wins Appeal

James Brown's former assistant has won the opportunity to sue for a slice of the late soul star's fortune after claiming he raped her at gunpoint in 1988. Jacque Hollander's shocking claims were thrown out of court in Chicago, Illinois, last year after a judge ruled she had waited too long to make the charges, but now the US Supreme Court will hear the case after her lawyers appealed the decision.

How to avoid an estate nightmare

"The whole point of having a good estate plan is that you don't have to go through what her family is going to go through now," explains Daniel Krug, a certified senior adviser who runs an estate-planning firm in Clarkston.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hello - I'm Al Franken And Your Not...

I'm good enough I'm smart enough and dog gonnit people like me

Upstate NY Hammered With More Heavy Snow

SLIDESHOW: Snowy Blast Hits Northeast

The heaviest snowfalls have ended, but upstate New Yorkers were advised to beware of below freezing temperatures and blowing snow Thursday.

While an upstate blizzard warning was canceled, blustery piles of snow left behind by a storm system that swept across much of the Northeast this week were expected to make driving conditions less than favorable. Forecasts warned of windchills dipping as low as 10 to 20 below zero.

Big chill follows big snow in upstate N.Y.

After the big snow comes the big chill.

The National Weather Service has issued wind chill and blowing snow advisories for parts of upstate New York, where Wednesday's storm dumped varying amounts of snow, from 16 inches north of Buffalo to 42 inches in Stratford in the southern Adirondacks.

Forecasters say Thursday's major issue will be the below zero wind chill in many upstate areas.

Scores of schools are closed again in the Capital Region.

In Oswego County, there's more lake-effect snow in the forecast. The city of Fulton got hit with more than two feet of new snow Wednesday.

All the shoveling and snowblowing I've been doing and I feel like I'm getting nowhere...

KFC For Hilary Clinton !!!

Hillary Clinton at Cafepress

To My Darling Husband...

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know
about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned
into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get
hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I
accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The
garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a
halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you
will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my

I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms

Your loving wife.

P.S. Your girlfriend called .

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

You Might Live In Upstate New York If...

Jeff Foxworthy on Upstate New York,"

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights a year because Saranac Lake is the
coldest spot in the nation, and Syracuse gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in Upstate, NY.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from October through May, you might live in Upstate New York
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live, bundled up, in
Upstate New York.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
you might live in Upstate NY.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Upstate
New York.

If you have worn shorts and a parka on the same day, you might live in Upstate New York.

If you have had a lengthy phone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Upstate New York.


"Vacation" means going South past Syracuse for ! The weekend.
You measure distance in hours.

You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend/wife knows how to use them.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

Down South to you means Corning.

Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed !

You go out for a fish fry every Friday.

Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."

You actually understand these jokes, and you forward

them to all your Upstate New York friends and to those

who used to live here and left. -- (chickens!)


100 wallets dropped in front of hidden cameras to test honesty...

...Each of the 100 wallets contained $2.10 in real money, a fake $50.00 gift certificate, some miscellaneous items and a clearly written ID card identifying the lost wallet's rightful owner. We were curious as to how honest people would be and wanted to see how different groups would compare to each other. For example, who would return the wallets more often... men or women? Young or old?

Lost Wallet #1

Date: September 6th 2006
Location: Parking lot of retail store.
Result: Returned (Wallet #1 was given to the retail store's customer service department. However, the store did not call me - I had to go in a few days later and ask. My wallet was returned to me with all items still intact.)
Notes: I once worked at this store. I dropped wallets on this parking lot twice - both were returned.,

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Call Luke Johnson

The Luke Johnson Phone Experiment

Three months ago, a 27-year old from Gilbert, Arizona put up this clip asking as many random strangers to call him on his cell phone as possible. So far 11,914 people have taken Luke Johnson up on his offer, some from as far away as Japan, Thailand, and South Africa.

Two Lunatics Kill Eight Innocent People In Seperate US Cities - Salt Lake City & Philadelphia Shocked By Violence

Gunman casually fired as scared shoppers hid

The sun had just set Monday when a tall young man in a white shirt and a trenchcoat strode through Trolley Square, aiming a shotgun from the shoulder and firing round after round in the busy Salt Lake City mall.
When the gunfire finally subsided, six people had been killed and at least four others were hospitalized.
"We have one gunman, and he is dead," said Salt Lake City Police spokeswoman Robin Snyder just after 10 p.m.
The 239,000-square-foot mall, built from the city's old trolley barns, was busy with shoppers and diners when the man, still not identified late Monday, opened fire around 6:40 p.m.

Double massacres shock US

EIGHT people have been killed in two separate shootings that have shocked America today.

A gunman murdered five people and injured many others inside a US shopping mall before being shot dead by police in Slat Lake City, Utah.

While another shot dead three people at a business meeting today before turning the gun on himself in a Philadelphia office building.

The Philadelphia gunman appeared to get upset at a board of directors meeting for a company that might have been an investment firm, police said.

Deputy Commissioner Richard Ross Ross described the scene inside the second-floor conference room at the Philadelphia Naval Business Centre as "utter chaos''.

Witnesses describe horror in Trolley Square

Police were reporting "multiple" deaths after a man opened fire Monday night at a downtown Salt Lake City mall. Another five people were wounded in the 7 p.m. attack at Trolley Square before police killed the gunman.
Ron Mason and DeEta Barta, of Salt Lake City, said they were eating at the Desert Edge Brew Pub when they saw a man coming in from the west parking lot. The man, wearing a dark trench coat, was carrying a long rifle or shotgun.
They yelled, "There's a man with a gun!" A few seconds later they heard about 12 rounds.
Mason and Barta, who are registered nurses, went to assist the victim, a younger man who had suffered a superficial gunshot wound to the right temple and ear.
Though the boy was clearly in shock, the couple said, he told them that he saw his father go down.
A woman on the lower level of the mall, near the Black Chandelier store, said she saw a shot and looked up upstairs and saw the gunman. He had a long dark coat, dark brown hair and was carrying a rifle or shotgun, she said.


Why PAX? The Gun Violence Issue Demands New Solutions.
For too long, gun violence in America has been perceived as a political debate rather than what it really is - an urgent public health crisis that is claiming the lives of 8 children and teens every day.

PAX has created two groundbreaking national campaigns, ASK and SPEAK UP, that make the gun violence issue a matter of public health and safety - not politics - and create the foundation for changes in social attitudes, behaviors and public policy that have previously been considered impossible. The fact is, the most successful social awareness movements of our time (such as AIDS, tobacco and drunk driving) all gained critical momentum when they became strongly focused on the public health and safety of the community as a whole, and particularly, our innocent and vulnerable children. PAX is bringing this same insight to the gun violence issue.

Gun Control

Black or White / Man or Woman / Barack or Hilary

Barack Obama Attacks Australian and American Soldiers' Sacrifices

Barack Obama is off and running for president. The items covered first by the inexperienced senator from Illinois, attack one of America's great allies and their soldiers and attack the sacrifice of the soldiers from America that are laying their lives on the line in Iraq. First up, Australia. The sophomore senator sounded off like a sophomoric political hack.
His target was Australia's Prime Minister John Howard. "Howard had said that Senator Obama's call for U.S. troops to be withdrawn from Iraq by March 2008 would deliver a victory for terrorists and destabilize the entire Middle East." Howard said: "If I was running al-Qaeda in Iraq, I would put a circle around March 2008 and pray, as many times as possible, for a victory not only for Obama, but also for the Democrats."

The Political Lynching of Barack Obama

I don't know about you, but I've been finding it rather unusual how the media as a whole has been covering the tale of how two Democratic senators, Barack Obama (of Illinois) and Hillary Rodham Clinton (of New York), have each made the decision to run for this country's most prestigious title, the Presidency, for the 2008 election. It seems like every time Obama comes out and makes a public statement about running, obsessive attention is immediately turned towards Clinton to see how she is going to respond. Up to now, there has been no negative response on the part of Clinton. In fact, it doesn't seem as if there has been any public commentary about Obama from her at all. Yet and still, so-called political experts who have more than likely never socially interacted with either candidate are called upon to comment about how they are so sure that conflict between the two camps is brewing. In the process, very little attention is placed on other potential Democratic candidates, including former candidate Sen. John Kerry. Why is this?

Help wanted: Pick a theme song for Barack Obama

The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now...

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Your love, liftin' me higher
Than I've ever been lifted before
So keep it up, quench my desire
And I'll be at your side forevermore

You know your love (your love keeps liftin' me)
Keeps on liftin' (your love keeps liftin' me)
Higher (liftin' me, liftin' me), higher, and higher (higher)

A Profit-Taking Candidate

Recent remarks by Hilary Clinton suggest an energy policy that would score political points, but harm the economy.
In response to reports that oil companies had posted a profit of over $39 billion, Democratic Presidential candidate and Senator Hillary Clinton said that she would want to take those profits and have them invested in the creation of alternative energy sources that will help make America “energy independent.”

The Ragin' Cajun returns

The often outspoken Democratic strategist James Carville discussed Republican ideals, Democratic positions, progressive patriotism, and the 2008 presidential race last night to a packed Jack Morton Auditorium. The event was hosted by the GW College Democrats.

Carville, 62, is best known for campaign tactics that have led many Democrats to win elections in the past; the most famous being Bill Clinton’s 1992 presidential campaign. He was also one of the hosts of CNN’s Crossfire, which taped in Jack Morton at GW's School of Media and Public Affairs for three years prior to its cancellation in 2005.

Hilary to come out of the closet in attempt to trump Obama

Former first lady, Hilary Rodham Clinton is set to sensationally reveal a history of lesbian activity in a bid to out-do rival, Barrack Obama, who is hoping to become America's first black President.

Sources close to Hilary have been quoted as saying "At first she thought it would be enough of a draw to be the first female President, but Obama came along and just upped the stakes."

Hillary Clinton
Barack Obama
Iraq War

Monday, February 12, 2007

X-Rated Riddles / 7 Reasons To Play Golf - NSFW


Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new

Q What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?!
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

Seven reasons to play golf !!!

Reason # 1

Reason # 2

Reason # 3

Reason # 4

Reason # 5

Reason # 6


Great Golf Stuff at Cafepress

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Tax Time Is Almost Here - Be Afraid Be Very Afraid

A dad walks into a market followed by his ten-year-old son. The kid is spinning a 25 cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they walk through the market someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.

A middle-aged, fairly unnoticeable man in a gray suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the of the commotion, he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market.

Reaching the boy, the man carefully takes hold of the kid's testicles and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 25 cent piece, which the man catches in his free hand. Releasing the boy, the man hands the coin to the father and walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill-effects, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him saying: "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before." It was fantastic! "Are you a doctor?"

"Oh, good heavens, no," the man replies, "I work for the Internal Revenue Service."

IRS Abuse Reports

Are you

a hard-working, middle-class American?

a law-abiding, taxpaying citizen?

Do you believe that no harm can come to you and your loved ones from the Internal Revenue Service (the IRS)? Any such belief will change after reading the following IRS Abuse Reports. Those reports are from law-abiding, hard-working taxpayers like you -- honest taxpayers who suddenly found themselves being methodically, cruelly, criminally destroyed by an out-of-control bureaucracy. Indeed, the IRS is a juggernaut, not for tax collection, but for power expansion through fear and destruction.

TheVanguard.Org Flat Tax: Tax Code Horror Stories"

Tax Code Horror Stories

Example: IRS Abuse - Pennsylvania

"For more than a decade, Ernest Kugler, Jr. was locked in a struggle with the IRS over taxes the agency said he owed from his heating and cooling business. Kugler of Export, Pa., near Pittsburgh, offered partial payment of the $60,000 the agency demanded, but the IRS would not budge. He filed for bankruptcy four times, to consolidate his debts to the IRS and others, but his tax liability kept growing. Despite his efforts to pay, Kugler continued to receive dunning letters and calls from agents demanding the rest of his bill, which with penalties and interest had swelled to $155,000 by this spring. On May 15, he dropped his wife, Darlene, at the federal building in Pittsburgh for a meeting with the bankruptcy trustee and the agent handling his case. Kugler told her that he could not face another futile session with the tax collectors. They found his body four days later in the cab of his pickup truck in a wooded gully not far from his house, dead of carbon monoxide poisoning at age 53. The short, unhappy story of Ernest Kugler is one of hundreds told to investigators for the Senate Finance Committee. Committee staffers say that while the bleak conclusion of Kugler's tale is obviously more extreme than most, it is emblematic of the way the IRS operates - inflexible, insensitive, intrusive and, ultimately, ineffective."

Prince Frederick von Anhalt - The Fool On The Hollywood Hill

WTF?! Zsa Zsa's Husband Says He Might Be Dannielynn's Dad!

Prince Frederick von Anhalt tells the Associated Press, "If you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me." He says he will file a lawsuit if custody of Dannielynn is turned over to Stern or Birkhead.

Prince Frederick von Anhalt Announces Decade Long Affair with Anna Nicole Smith

The husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor said that he had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith and may be her infant daughter's father.

The claim by Prince Frederick von Anhalt comes amid a paternity suit over Smith's 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn. The birth certificate lists Dannielynn's father as attorney Howard K. Stern, but former Smith boyfriend Larry Birkhead is waging a legal challenge, saying he is the father.

''If you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me,'' von Anhalt told The Associated Press in an interview.

Celebrity Babies Blog