FBI Director

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
Website: www.fbi.gov
ATTENTION FUND BENEFICIARY,

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ADVICE FROM THE FBI FOREIGN REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC
DEPT.,IT HAS COME TO OUR NOTICETHAT THE C.B.N BANK NIGERIA DISTRICT HAS
RELEASED10,500,000.00 U.S DOLLARS INTO BANK OF AMERICA IN YOURNAME AS THE
BENEFICIARY, BY INHERITANCE MEANS.THEC.B.N BANK NIGERIA KNOWING FULLY WELLTHAT
THEY DO NOTHAVE ENOUGH FACILITIES TO EFFECT THIS PAYMENT FROM THEUNITED KINGDOM
TO YOUR ACCOUNT, USED WHAT WE KNOW AS ASECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT S.T.D.P
TO PAY THISFUND THROUGH WIRE TRANSFER,THEY USED THIS MEANS TOCOMPLETE THE
PAYMENT.

THEY ARE STILL, WAITING FOR CONFIRMATION FROM YOU ONTHE ALREADY
TRANSFERRED FUNDS WHICH WAS MADE IN DIRECTTRANSFER SO THAT THEY CAN DO FINAL
CREDITING TO YOUR ACCOUNT. SECRET DIPLOMATIC PAYMENTS ARE NOT MADEUNLESS THE
FUNDS ARE RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIESWHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN SECRET
TRANSFER , IFYOUR TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE,IF YOU ARE NOT ATERRORIST, THEN WHY
DID YOU NOT RECEIVE THE MONEYDIRECTLY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT,THIS IS A PURE CODED
,MEANSOF PAYMENT? RECORDS WHICH WE HAVE HAD WITH THIS METHOD OFPAYMENT IN
THE PAST HAS ALWAYS BEEN RELATED TOTERRORIST ACTS, WE DONOT WANT YOU TO GET INTO
TROUBLEAS SOON AS THESE FUNDS REFLECT IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN THEU.S.A, SO IT IS OUR
DUTY AS A WORD WIDE COMMISSION TOCORRECT THIS LITTLE PROBLEM BEFORE THIS FUND
WILL BECREDITED INTO YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

DUE TO THE INCREASED DIFFICULTY AND UNNECESSARYSCRUTINY BY THE AMERICAN
AUTHORITIES WHEN FUNDS COMEFROM OUTSIDE OF EUROPE, AND THE MIDDLE EAST, THE
F.B.IBANK COMMISSION FOR EUROPE HAS STOPPED THE TRANSFERON ITS WAY TO DELIVER
PAYMENT OF $10,500,000.00 TODEBIT YOUR RESERVE ACCOUNT AND PAY YOU THROUGH
ASECURED DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT ACCOUNT (S.D.T.A). WEGOVERN AND OVERSEES FUNDS
TRANSFER FOR THE WORLD BANKAND THE REST OF THE WORLD.

WE ADVICE YOU CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY,AS THE FUNDSHAVE BEEN STOPPED AND ARE
BEING HELD IN OUR CUSTODY,UNTIL YOU CAN BE ABLE TO PROVIDE US WITH A
DIPLOMATICIMMUNITY SEAL OFTRANSFER(DIST) WITHING 3 DAYS FROMTHE WORLD LOCAL BANK
THAT AUTHORIZE THE TRANSFER FROMWHERE THE FUNDS WAS TRANSFERRED FROM TO CERTIFY
THATTHE FUNDS THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE FROM NIGERIAARE ANTI TERRORIST/DRUG
FREE OR WE SHALL HAVE CAUSE TOCROSS AND IMPOUND THE PAYMENT,WE SHALL RELEASE
THEFUNDS IMMEDIATELY WE RECEIVE THIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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We have decided to contact you directly to acquirethe proper verifications
and proof from you to showthat you are the rightful person to receive this
fund,because of the amount involve,we want to make sure isa clean and legal
money you are about to receive. Beinformed that the fund are now in United State
in yourname , but right now we have ask the bank not torelease the fund to
anybody that comes to them ,unless we ask them to do so,because we have to
carryout ourinvestigations first before releasing the fundto you. Note that the
fund is in the BANK OF AMERICA right now, but we have ask them not to credit the
fundto you yet, because we need a solid proof andverifications from you before
releasing the funds.

So to this regards you are to re-assure and proof tous that what you are
about to receive is a clean moneyby sending to us FBI Identification Record and
alsoDiplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) to satisfyto us that the money
your about to receive islegitimate and real money. You are to forward
thedocuments to us immediately if you have it in yourpossession, if you don?t
have it let us know so thatwe will direct and inform you where to obtain
thedocument and send to us so that we will ask the bankholding the funds the
Bank Of America to go aheadCrediting your account immediately.

This Documents are to be issued to you from theWorld Local Bank that
Authorized the transfer, so getback to us immediately if you don?have the
document sothat we will inform you the particular place to obtainthe document in
United Kingdom U.K, because we havecome to realize that the fund was Authorized
by H.S.B.C Bank in London. An FBI Identification Record and Diplomatic
Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) often referred to as aCriminal History Record or
Rap Sheet, is a listing ofcertain information taken from finger print submission
sretained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, insome instances, federal
employment,naturalization, ormilitary service.THESE CONDITION IS VALID UNTIL TH
OF 20THE OCT2008 AFTER WE SHALL TAKE ACTIONS ON CANCELLINGTHE PAYMENT AND THEN
CHARGE YOU FOR ILLEGALLY MOVINGFUNDS OUT OF NIGERIA .
GUARANTEE: FUNDS WILL BERELEASED ON CONFIRMATION OF THE DOCUMENT.


FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III

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The Vibrator !!!

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked:' what in the world are you doing?'

The daughter replied:' mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said:' dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the T.V. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the fuck are you doing?'

The husband replied:' I'm watching football with my son-in-law.'

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Whats UP !!!

Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. It is yet another example of why people learning English have trouble with the language. Learning the nuances of English makes it a difficult language. (But then, that's probably true of many languages.)


There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].


It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UPabout UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now ........my time is UP , so time to shut UP!

Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?

U P

Don't screw up. Send this on to everyone you look up in your address book.

Now I'll shut up

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Peggy Ford GREETING

From. Peggy Ford.
Dear One.

Good Day, i know that this message will come to you as suprise, but is bord on genune business and that is while i contacted you for help.

I am Peggy Ford the the only child of the late Terry Ford, a farmer In Zimbabwe. I am contacting you for assistance due to the recent problems that we are facing in Zimbabwe.

After the last general elections in my country where the incumbent President Mr. Robert Mugabe won he adopted a very aggressive land reform programme. During this period of the and Reform Act of which many rich White farmers were killed, our farmland was attacked, looted and burnt down by militants sponsored by the dictator President Robert Mugabe and in the process my father was killed.

www.cnn.co m/2002/WORLD/africa/03/18/zimbabwe.farmer


Before his death, he had deposited the sum of €15,000,000.00(Fifteen Million) with a FINANCE COMPANY, as he foresaw the Looming dangers in Zimbabwe. The amount was meant for the purchase of new machineries and Chemicals proposed for new farms in Zimbabwe.

This cash was kept with the FINANCE COMPANY, for fear of seizure by the Government, as President Mugabe had declared war on white farmers.

I have been unable to travel to out due to the recent problems in our country Zimbabwe, I cannot secure a visa. It is due to this situation that I have decided to contact you for assistance to make claims of this fund from the FINANCE COMPANY, on bhalf of me.

As soon as you claim this fund you will transfer it into your account, deduct your share and secure my share until i come over to your country. For your assistance you will be entitled to 30% of the total fund.

Note that you will assist me invest my share of this funds in a profitable business in your country with your supervision.

Please get back to me immediately so we can proceed.
Regards and God Bless.
Peggy Ford

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